Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The man who uses me

if you want me then why dont you show me?
if you need me then why dont you care?

From time to time you cross my mind.
And I wonder...

Why dont you want to be with me?
and why am I stuntin you like I am?

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Im letting go

Ive decided
its time for a change

No more drama in my life
Im letting go

Letting go of everything within
All that holds me back

Everything that has caused me pain
and stressed me out

Its time for a change
In me and my surroundings

Im not letting anyone hold me back
Its time to be true to myself

Ive decided its time for a change
Im letting go

Control

Im tired of being pushed around
Im not your posession
You cant control me

I love you...I really do..
but Im not blind to the way you are anymore
I see what you are trying to do

I cant let you do this to me anymore
I cant take it any longer
I wont be your fool

You've taken all that I am
all that I was
You changed me

Inside and out
Im not the same
Im scared and lonely

Im tired of the way you treat me
and then way you turn things around to be my fault
It wont happen anymore

And maybe the only way to make this stop
is to just let go of you
Because you cant control me anymore.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

And I stay the same

All that surrounds me
moving
changing
rearranging

Im standing still
remaining the same

Im in a rut
I dont know how to get out.

To make yourself change,
is the biggest challenge you could ever incounter

Changing the way you have been for so long, is so hard.
Isnt that a part of life though.

Grow and change
thats how it is supposet to go.

But it seems Ive grow, maybe matured,
but I have never changed.

Ive had the same feelings,
the same emotions
for so long.

How do I know they are right?
If I never experience anything eles,
how am I to know?

Looking at my life

Stepping back and looking at my life
I feel like I have nothing to show for last 17 years of my life

What have I done with myself?
Nothing remarkable.

Im always trying to better myself...
or at least I'd like to

Do I ever do anything to better myself.
So much talking but never any action.

Its so hard to look at your life any figure out what to do,
and know that it is a good decision,
and at some point in time it will help better yourself.

Im backing away from you

Its over now..
Its finally ended..

Ive came to this point because of all you have done
I cant take all of the fighting
My emotions are all wound up
and your not helping.

I wish things could be different

Soul searching
Needing reassuring
tell me we are going to make it through

Ive loved you for so long
Ive always only had you

but now its time to let go
I know you love me
and I love you too

but emotionaly I cant take this anymore
All we do it fight

you never tell me you love me anymore
all you do is complain about everything I do wrong

Where did all my strenght go?
I used to be able to put up with anything from you
Nothing could push me away

But now I find myself backing away.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

My Goodbye

You play an unfair game
You make the rules
And I have to obey them

Uncompromising
Demanding
Selfish

Give, give, give
thats all I do.

I give
Love
Trust
Honesty
Money

Take, Take, Take
Thats all you do.

I have nothing left to give to you
Im tired of not getting anything back

You've taken all I have to give..

Maybe its time to give one last thing..
My goodbye

Tired of fighting

So tired of the fighting
Its never ending

Im tired of trying to make you stay
Everything I do is worng

I dont feel like arguing
I dont feel like telling you I love you anymore

Im always explaining
while my feelings are rearranging

Why do things have to be so hard for us
I love you I do
And I want to be with you, I really do.

But we cant seem to get along
And I feel like I get nothing in return.

All you do is want, want, want.
I have wants too
But I dont get anything I want

True, I may have your heart,
and at times that is enough

But I always do the little things you ask me to do
But you never do what I ask.

You never go the extra mile
Im not saying your a bad boyfriend

But why do I have to give my all,
and you dont

Thats not fair to me.
Im so tired of frighting
trying to keep you around.

For once, I would just like to rest.
Take a break from all of our fights.

Sometimes, I just need a break from everything.
You, me, the world.

But you really dont let me get that break when Im with you
You always want all of me, all the time

Sometimes, I just need a little me time.
I understand you want me around alot,
and thats fine I want you around too,
but sometimes I think that is the problem.

I mean 4 years of always being around..
Yea we have had our breaks,
but when we get back together
we are up each other butts
And at first its ok,
but after a while..
the fights start again.

I love you I really do.
I cant stress that enough.

But Im tired of trying
and you not

There is no give and take in this relationship
Its all take take take...
And your doing the taking

I admit
I like giving to you
And doing what you like

But you should like doing the same for me
And you dont.

When you dont get your way
you freak out.
If I dont get my way..then thats to bad.
I always just have to deal.

Sometimes I fee like
you are selfish
Demanding
Uncompromising.

And you always find someway of turning it around on me
And I believe you everytime

I have come to the point
where I dont want to tell you how
I feel because you take it way to far.

You act like it hurts you so bad..
But you always tell me how you feel
wheather it hurts me or not.

And I always have to deal

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Enough

Enough of this madness
Enough of this cycle

How we kept this going on for so long..I dont know
maybe it is because I was doing all the work myself..
Really I was the one holding us together...you never helped

You tried to play it off as if you were the one doing all the work,
and at times I fell for it.
But not this time!

This relationship has taken its tole on me, time and time again.
And its my fault for letting you do this to me over and over again.
But Im through this time, Im not letting you back in.

It sucks that it has come to this..
We cant even be friends.
Once I open that door a little you come all the way in.

The only way for me to end this, is to keep you out altogether.
Im sad to say, but you've broken me down for the last time.
I will not let this happen again.

Over and over, I give you take
Never giving me anything in return
And for the longest time, I thought it was me who was at fault.
But now I see, and I have known all along, it was never me.

Yes I made so mistakes in this relationship, but not all of this was me.
And you always tried to blame me for your mistakes.
You were not man enough to own up to your mistakes.

And I fell for it everytime.
I always forgave you.
Took the blame, and said Im sorry.

Well not this time.
No more.
I will not let this happen again.

I have had enough!!
Enough of this relationship.
Enough of you..