Update...

So this one is just going to be an update on my life..

Well Wow how do I start? I found out a couple weeks ago I am having a baby. Yep thats right September 29th is my due date. I am so scared.. But very excited.. Me and the father are trying to make things work but you know how that is.. Only time will tell I guess.. But all in all we are both very happy about.

So from now on.. I will still be doing the poetry thing on here, but from time to time I will be posting pictures of my little one and also blogging on my pregnancy since this is my first one.

If any of you have any stories or advice to give feel free to leave them I would love to hear them.

Thanks.
Mommy To be.. :)

Fool for You

I feel like I have so much to say but nothing to come out
So many thoughts
So many feelings
But I just cant put them into words
I want to yell at you
I want to scream
I want to tell you everything I am thinking
Everything I feel
But it wont matter to you
and what will it change
It will prove nothing to me
and only show you how much of a fool I am for you

How did I get this way
How did it happen yet again
Why do I let people have so much power over me
How can I put someone else before me

I have so much going through my mind
So many questions
So many what ifs
whys, hows, whens, who
And so many damn I told you so's
And yet I just keep asking myself
Why are you still thinking about this man
What did he really do for you
NOTHING
But yet Im sitting here wasting my time worrying about him and our so called relationship we never really had

Tryin

So I have to come to find out things really aren't what they seem to be.
And I should always listen to my gut.
Because why I am over here thinking about you all the time you arent thinking about me.
Im not sure you were ever thinking of me.
Maybe in the beginning when things were new, but now they are old and I guess so am I.
I hate the fact that I can be so naive, or maybe Im not..
Maybe I just convinced myself that things were fine, that they were going to be fine.
But in reality they weren't fine and never will be.
And I have to except that..

So I guess you could say.. Im trying..

........

Why is it I hate everything you do?
Every little word that comes out your mouth drives me nuts!

When your trying to be sincere
I think your full of shit

When you say you miss me
I think your lying

And when you say you love me
I think you don't really mean it

So why is it I hate everything that you do?

Does my love for you make your love for me look so little?
Or is our love so perfect that I'm just searching for reasons to see your a fake?

You cant hate someone and love them at the same time, right?
Because I hate everything about you..

I hate all the things you don't do the most.
But yet I love you so much

So maybe the real question is Why do I love you?