The conclusion to the illusion

The conclusion to the illusion

If only it was that simple.

In finding you,
I lost me.

I lost all that I was
All that I wanted to be.

I gave you everything
My heart
My soul
My tears
My mind

You gave me nothing
Lies
Doubt

I used to want so much
I used to care

No make-up
Just jeans and a tee
and ME

But now I cover myself
not just the outside
but the inside too

afraid of what people might say

Scared and shaken
Lost and lonely

I lost me
In finding you

I lost the love for you
and lost the love for me

For so long I thought you were all I wanted
but now I realize I want so much more
A better life,
a better me.

Maybe someday we will
find the love that once
lived and burned in our hearts

As for now
it has faded.
I still love you
that will never change
but as for wanted to be with you
well that has rearranged.

The conclusion to the illusion

If only it was that simple

I have come to realize this love will never die
I will always love you with all my heart

But the time has come to move on
don't forget,
but move on

Maybe some day it will come back
as for now
I cant wait
because only time will tell what the future holds..

Life

Life seems to be rushing by me
Going so fast that everything is a blur
Time used to go so slow when I was younger
I used to sit and enjoy the day
But I got so consumed in growing up,
Acting older, and not being a kid
That now I cant even remember what I did
When I was younger I didnt worry about making something of myself
I just did what I wanted..
No worries
But now I wish I would have gave it a second thought
Its almost time to grow up
And I find myself wanting to be little again
Wishing I could go back the old days
When I didnt have to worry about anything.
Or better yet,
Go back to the old days
Maybe put a little more thought into what I was going to do with my life
Do a little better in school.
Be a kid
But still know that I cant always be a kid
I guess I never really realized that
You do grow up,
but its not all fun and games.
You have responsibility
There isnt always going to be someone there to take care of you
Give you money and such
Put a roof over your head
You have to do that on your own
And it all starts young
I mean you at least have to know that one day you will be responsible for your own actions
and me, well I did know that but didnt care
I just lived carelessly.
And now I am paying for it.
Now I sit around and wonder
What the hell am I going to do with my life
How am I going to make a difference in the world
I mean I want to make something of myself.
I want to be remembered as someone who helped people
Not someone who did nothing with there life,
in a dead end job, and a dead end life.

To my lil Liar

I dont know what to think of you.
All your sweetness, all you laughs.
FAKE!
You dont want me
Your not staying here for me.
LIAR!
You dont love me
Nor do you care.
WHY?
Just tell the truth!
How do you really feel?
BE HONEST!
You have no intentions to stay.

Dirty

Feeling a lil down. Feeling a lil dirty.
I need to to come clean.
Wash my sheets.
Wash myself.
Come free of all my secrets and lies, worries and struggles.
Need to be free.
To rid myself of everything that holds me down
All my shackles...gone
Able to move freely
Nothing weighing on my mind
Nothing wondering in the back of my mind
Feeling a lil down.
Feeling a lil dirty
Time to come clean.
Cant keep thses bags anymore.
Cant let these shackles hold me down anymore.
Time to be free
Feeling a lil down. Feeling a lil dirty